I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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