I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
