Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Couch. On fire.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize