I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize