Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
