and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
