so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize