We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
