Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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