covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
