woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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