Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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