oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize