Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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