Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
