apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Vodka?
Forever.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
