It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
