I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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