What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
