no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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