He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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