I love watching others lives come down to our level.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same