Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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