He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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