so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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