dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
