I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Buhtt sex?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
