I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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