One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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