when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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