Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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