i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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