White coat. Heels.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
