And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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