You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
