I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
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My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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