Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
