Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
