yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
