How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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