as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm at about main and main street
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
