You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
