I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
