3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
