Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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