atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
