this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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