Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
