i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
