His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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