Are we in a gay sports bar?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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