First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
