I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
