member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
