ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
