I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
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I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
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My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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