I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
