I want to walk on stilts...naked
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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